The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room bokeh screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or bokeh sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, crot and bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for bokeh a fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokep moan than bokeh shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review memek magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally crot on an occasional basis, porn they’d bokep explain, porn so they could make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, porn and crot that women were prone to what they bokep described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as crot bokep I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you should be doing.’

bokep Well, crot only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, bokep Christopher Ryan and bokeh Cacilda Jetha concluded the memek most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris